Thursday, March 4, 2010


Night has fallen. Youngest son and husband have gone to bed. Oldest son and self remain in kitchen. "Pick a color," speaks the boy I love dear as he carefully colors giraffe on reading homework. "Yellow," I add without a thought. "That's a nice color," he adds for kindness as he searches intently through glass jar for crayon.

My mind, as if it never forgot, is instantly brought back to a place I had long since forgotten. A blue house. A girl of perhaps 7 or 8. A bedroom with fresh white walls. A mama asking, "What color do you want to paint your room?" A little girl responding with complete sincerity, "Yellow so it will glow in the dark."

And it was done. My walls were painted a lovely shade of yellow and they never did glow in the dark. Oddly, I don't recall my mama ever questioning my choice or the reason behind it. It was simply done.

This leads me to this Gratitude Monday…on Thursday. (I am almost always late at this.) I almost called my mom right then and there to thank her for her love in the little things; things that matter to a child. (I did not, however, thinking a letter might be more appropriate, though I have yet to put pen to paper.) So come with me as I am grateful for my mom. Someone who is not really an affectionate mother, most likely due to her upbringing. Someone who can be hard to warm up to, as she can keep you at an emotionally safe distance. (Again, I think her upbringing.) Yet, someone, who in her own way, if you are patient and keep eyes and heart open, says I love you just enough.

22. The way she made me matching dresses as a child.

23. The trips to the Children's Museum in Portland. (Such great memories. I loved the shadow maker and the kitchen!)

24. The Perry Mason we all watched after lunch.

25. The way we would all gather in her bed at the end of the day.

26. The time she helped me sew my own quilt. She took me to the fabric store and allowed me to pick all the different prints I wanted in my quite. (No scraps for me!)

27. All the good books she encouraged me to read growing up…and she still does even as an adult. She is an endless library of classic reading.

28. The way she loved me through my greatest mistake…even when others were unable to.

29. The way she gives to my children of her very rare alone time. (Keeping them in the family and out of public daycare.)

30. He many hand knit gifts. (They are heirlooms and I love them!)

31. The relationship she has kept, all these years, through 13 children and 14 grandchildren, with my dad. (The best man ever.)

And mom, if you ever find this, I love you. (It's just hard to say sometimes.)

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