Thursday, March 18, 2010

Death is not Dying

Had a WONDERFUL MOMS group this morning. We watched a video. The video was of a woman speaking to a MOMS group in Canada about her impending death; about her cancer. She titles her talk Death is not Dying. (She went to be the Lord about 8 weeks after the speaking engagement, or so I am told.) I encourage you to check out her website at Her name was Rachel Barkey.

She shared four important principles that I would like to share with you.

The first was to know God. So I ask myself, do I really know Him? Those are big words for someone so small to answer. I know this. I know He is Holy. What do I really know of Holy? I know that He, in His wisdom, made me. He breathed into my life. Every little aspect of who I am. Each moment. And I am so unworthy. So inadequate, for such a Holy God. I know He is love. He loves so much He gave Himself for me, for you. Not just Himself, but His only Son. That's how much he loves. That's just how Holy He is. I know He brought me, broken sinner, out of darkness, and showed me the light, which seemed so very far away. He was patient while no one else was able. He was there when everyone walked away. He held steadfast His love when all the worldly love I trusted was unable to hold on. He was there when I woke from my sin. He was there to say that He loved me. That He had saved me. (Yes. Me. Broken. Ugly.) And then slowly, He carried me back. Not to where I came from, but back. A place I had never really been. A humbling place. A Holy place. A place of grace.

She talked of knowing yourself. She shared little bits and pieces of herself. I think I know myself. I know that I cannot rest if my home is in disarray. I know that I like to brush my teeth in the shower…and I like long, water wasting, showers. I know that my children have brought me my greatest joys and my greatest pains. I know that love can grow from unhealthy soil. I know that true friends know how to blow away the chaff from the grain. I know that sunny days seem to quicken my step and rain makes me want to curl up in a fuzzy blanket. But do I really know myself? I know many not so beautiful things as well. I know so many things that I will not mention here. Things that hold no more weight in my life. I know that whatever you think of me, it is not as bad as I really am. I know am human. Sin natured. Self loving.

Importantly, she discussed knowing the Gospel. Do I really know the Gospel? I do. I have tasted it. I have felt it. I have known it. I live it. Sometimes it feels so real my heart weeps and the effects fall from my eyes. This Lenten season I seek Him. Him who died for me. Who gave Himself for me. Who loved me on that tree. I picture Him and I know He thought of me. I believe it with all that I am. Without Him I would be hopeless. With Him I have hope.

Lastly, she talked about knowing your purpose. What is one's purpose? I am a woman. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am daughter, a sister. I am a friend. I am a nurse. I am so many things, all of which are not my purpose. My purpose is to bring Glory to the God who made me. My purpose is to declare His Glory. This purpose can be achieved right where God has put me. Right here in my home. Right here with my family. Right here with my friends, my job. I do not need to search for ways to show His Glory. He will use me, mold me, make me, right here in the everyday. His Glory is shown in every floor I wipe clean. It is in every bed I make. Every story I read. Each fear I help dispel. My purpose, as she so aptly put, is His purpose. To serve with joy. Not just to serve. Anyone can serve. Serve with joy.

And so I challenge you and I challenge me. Be sure we know God. Be sure we know ourselves. Be sure we know the Gospel. Be sure we know our purpose. Let us go forth. Let us make dinner. Let us put pajamas on. Let us brush teeth. Let us say prayers and read stories. Let us snuggle. Let us do this with joy.

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