Fogarty Beach

60. The sounds of the ocean.

61. The smell of ocean air.

62. The simple joy that is finding bits of shell on the beach.

63. Sunshine. Warm on my face.

64. Watching children cover husband and youngest son with sand.

65. Hands digging in the sand...hoping for a clam...only to come up mostly empty.

66. Car drives with enough time for a nap. (I heart sleeping in the car.)

67. Eating dinner at the home of kind family friends and feeling like family.

68. Swimming in the hotel pool with all my boys.
69. Thankfulness for the endless love of children despite our unworthiness.

70. Husband and his eye for beauty through the camera lens and beyond.

71. The joy of the nights sleep in ones own bed after being away from home.

72. Possibilities...

73. Oldest son and his first lost tooth...at the tender age of 4. (It seems early to me.)

74. Watching brothers lift each other up.

75. Oldest son and his reading. (Finished his first real book and did AMAZING. I cannot believe he is only 4.)

76. The joy of boys and LEGOS. It is impressive what they can build.

77. Trying new things...despite how badly I may have done them. At least I had the courage to go and see.

78. Anna's new baby Liem. (So sweet.)

79. Making it through another day of work.

The Sandbox

Today we went to the Washington Park Zoo. It was a spontaneous trip, brought on at the suggestion of my ever brilliant husband as he was preparing to leave for work this morning. Husband: Why don't you take the boys to the zoo this morning? Wife: Well, I guess I could. And so we went. I pulled together a sack lunch and threw a variety of coat options in the car, along with the BOB Stroller, which I LOVE, and we were off. Well...almost. We had to stop at the gym for my Wednesday Step Class which I have become quite fond of. Then...a not so quick as planned errand in Portland, which turned into a full drive around the city as I missed my exit. Then...we were off to the zoo.

Once there we made our way to our most favorite spot at the zoo. You would think it would be the animals wouldn't you? Well, it's not. Not in our family. I have two boys. Two very active boy boys! When we go to the zoo we LOVE the SANDBOX. It is under the ramp, next to Stellar Cove. We could sit there for hours and play with the dozers and diggers and dumpers. Oldest Son is a Construction Site Manager deluxe. He commands that Sandbox as if it were his very charge. Youngest Son wanders about doing his own things and frequently stopping by to have me wipe the sand off his hands.

Which brings me to this post. Last Saturday Husband dug a hole. It took him many hours. It made his back ache to be sure. It left him dirty and sweaty, which I kind of like, as long as it is outside. He had many other things he should have been doing. Many other things pressing for his limited time home. His love led him to dig and dig and dig. He is a wonderful papa. He is committed to raising them well. He is love to them. He is love to me.

50. Husband

51. Oldest Son

52. Youngest Son

53. Holes in the ground.

54. Sand, sand, and more sand.

55. Yard work.

56. Sunny days spent at home.

57. Sunny days spent at the zoo.

58. The sun in general. (I am not picky.)

59. Sweet words from Oldest Son, my lover. ("I love you Mama. There is no other mama in the whole world I love as much as you. I would never want another mama."

Easter Week

See the land, her Easter keeping,
Rises as her Maker rose.
Seeds, so long in darkness sleeping,
Burst at last from winter snows.
Earth with heaven above rejoices,
Fields and gardens hail the spring;
Shaughs and woodlands ring with voices,
While the young birds build and sing.
You to whom the Maker granted
Powers to those sweet birds unknown,
Use the craft by God implanted;
Use the reason not your own.
Here, while heaven and earth rejoices,
Each his Easter tribute bring-
Work of fingers, chant of voices,
Like the birds who build and sing.

CHARLES KINGSLEY (1819-1875)

The Rain in the Spring (Can you feel the Son?)

40. He hung on that tree. He died alone. An alone we no longer must experience. An alone that is something we may never know, unless by our own choosing. He hung on that tree. For me. For you. For us. For this I am so thankful.

41. For the weather that this week comes at such an appropriate time. A storm came for Him as well. It brought darkness to day. To usher in the light. I am grateful for this reminder. This little bit of sacred in the everyday.

42. The boys that talk and play about this home.

43. Places to meet the needs of our family during this difficult economic season. (Please give me the strength to rise above my sinful self and maintain Your character. Give him continued strength as well.) Humbling. Difficult.

44. I am so very thankful for hope. There is hope in the Spring. There is hope in the everyday. There is hope in Him. I am so thankful for hope.

45. Oldest Son and his reading of the book Max. (I am so proud of him and his love of learning.) Thank you Lord. May this love also grow in Youngest Son.

46. Youngest Son and his use of the Potty Chair this morning. (Four Times.) A small miracle. A large bit of happiness for Mama. My prayer is that he is done by this summer for the swim season.

47. Grateful for the courage to serve. (It had been a long time.)

48. There are so many permanent aspects of sin. So many finals. So many never go backs. Thankful I am that He bore the ultimate finality of my sin. Death. Separation. He took it. He carried it. He built a bridge. Right back to Him.

49. For this. This bit of my heart that beats for Him. This part of me that longs for Him. I cannot explain why. I cannot tell you how I got here. I am a sinner. Broken. Bruised. Scarred. Yet somehow He found me. Somehow He made me His. Somehow He loved me. Somehow He understood me. He saw me. (I was seen.) I am not perfect and I do not claim to be. I am worse than you think. (Much worse I am sure.) One thing is true. One thing is perfect and good. How He love me so. How He died for me in that love. For that, I am forever His. Forever seeking to get it right. To get Him right. For all my life. With all my heart.

Death is not Dying

Had a WONDERFUL MOMS group this morning. We watched a video. The video was of a woman speaking to a MOMS group in Canada about her impending death; about her cancer. She titles her talk Death is not Dying. (She went to be the Lord about 8 weeks after the speaking engagement, or so I am told.) I encourage you to check out her website at www.deathisnotdying.com. Her name was Rachel Barkey.

She shared four important principles that I would like to share with you.

The first was to know God. So I ask myself, do I really know Him? Those are big words for someone so small to answer. I know this. I know He is Holy. What do I really know of Holy? I know that He, in His wisdom, made me. He breathed into my life. Every little aspect of who I am. Each moment. And I am so unworthy. So inadequate, for such a Holy God. I know He is love. He loves so much He gave Himself for me, for you. Not just Himself, but His only Son. That's how much he loves. That's just how Holy He is. I know He brought me, broken sinner, out of darkness, and showed me the light, which seemed so very far away. He was patient while no one else was able. He was there when everyone walked away. He held steadfast His love when all the worldly love I trusted was unable to hold on. He was there when I woke from my sin. He was there to say that He loved me. That He had saved me. (Yes. Me. Broken. Ugly.) And then slowly, He carried me back. Not to where I came from, but back. A place I had never really been. A humbling place. A Holy place. A place of grace.

She talked of knowing yourself. She shared little bits and pieces of herself. I think I know myself. I know that I cannot rest if my home is in disarray. I know that I like to brush my teeth in the shower…and I like long, water wasting, showers. I know that my children have brought me my greatest joys and my greatest pains. I know that love can grow from unhealthy soil. I know that true friends know how to blow away the chaff from the grain. I know that sunny days seem to quicken my step and rain makes me want to curl up in a fuzzy blanket. But do I really know myself? I know many not so beautiful things as well. I know so many things that I will not mention here. Things that hold no more weight in my life. I know that whatever you think of me, it is not as bad as I really am. I know am human. Sin natured. Self loving.

Importantly, she discussed knowing the Gospel. Do I really know the Gospel? I do. I have tasted it. I have felt it. I have known it. I live it. Sometimes it feels so real my heart weeps and the effects fall from my eyes. This Lenten season I seek Him. Him who died for me. Who gave Himself for me. Who loved me on that tree. I picture Him and I know He thought of me. I believe it with all that I am. Without Him I would be hopeless. With Him I have hope.

Lastly, she talked about knowing your purpose. What is one's purpose? I am a woman. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am daughter, a sister. I am a friend. I am a nurse. I am so many things, all of which are not my purpose. My purpose is to bring Glory to the God who made me. My purpose is to declare His Glory. This purpose can be achieved right where God has put me. Right here in my home. Right here with my family. Right here with my friends, my job. I do not need to search for ways to show His Glory. He will use me, mold me, make me, right here in the everyday. His Glory is shown in every floor I wipe clean. It is in every bed I make. Every story I read. Each fear I help dispel. My purpose, as she so aptly put, is His purpose. To serve with joy. Not just to serve. Anyone can serve. Serve with joy.

And so I challenge you and I challenge me. Be sure we know God. Be sure we know ourselves. Be sure we know the Gospel. Be sure we know our purpose. Let us go forth. Let us make dinner. Let us put pajamas on. Let us brush teeth. Let us say prayers and read stories. Let us snuggle. Let us do this with joy.

Truth that is Powerful

"I, the Lord, made you,

and I will not forget you.

I have swept away your sins like a cloud.

I have scattered your offenses like the morning mist.

Oh, return to me,

for I have paid the price to set you free."

Isaiah 44:21-22

Gratitude Monday...On Tuesday

32. Feeding Boys homemade cinnamon rolls on a sunny Saturday morning home. (Check out The Pioneer Woman's recipe.) http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2007/06/cinammon_rolls_/

33. Great Wolf Lodge as a family plus Youngest Sister. (a. So much fun to watch Oldest Son delight in the Medium Waterslides, the Wave Pool, and the Lily Pad Crossing.) (b. A joy to watch Youngest Son warm up to the Small Waterslide after discovering the fun of face first...despite the lifeguards continued whistles and warnings about feet first.) (c. A complete blast going down the Large Waterslides with Husband and Youngest Sister...especially in the dark.) (d. Snuggling in our beds after an exhausting evening of Water Park activities eating whatever we want.)

34. Going on a bike road with Husband on a crisp Friday afternoon. (On a side note, there was a HUGE dead toad on 10th Avenue! I did not know they grew that big around here.)

35. Supervisor at work who is moving to California to return to her roots. Her wisdom and her unique way of challanging me will be a loss. She is truly an amazing woman and she will be missed.

36. Oldest Sister celebrating 7 years of marriage. (Lucky 7.)

37. Oldest Son and playdates with friends. (This is sheer bliss for him.)

38. Lazy Tuesday mornings. (Like this one.)

39. The solid, sound sleep kids enter after a day in the water. (It is truly a drug of the best kind.)